The Hockey Movement

Around The Rink Advanced Stats for Beer League Hockey

advanced beer league stats

Written by advanced beer league statistician – Nathan Noll
Cover photo credit – Timothy Aguero

With the recent emergence of advanced stats in NHL hockey (Corsi, Fenwick, Relative Corsi, PDO, Zone Start Percentage), I thought it is important to bring this same type of thinking to my old man beer league team.

Here are the advanced stats I propose we start using to track our team and players:

hockey-PPAPoints Per Ache (PPA)– Considering we had a player miss a game from a neck injury sustained while shampooing his hair, I think this stat could say a lot about a player’s worth to our team.

Relative PPA measures how many people in that player’s family are also in pain that day.

Family Obligations Missed (FOM)– Like some of the new advanced stats, FOM can be interpreted in many ways. While a high FOM indicates a player’s dedication to our team, it also might build resentment at home which could ultimately effect their play.

beer-league-fansFonzi– The average attendance of our game is made up of new girlfriends, bored children and curious octogenarian parents. But these fans are integral to making our games feel important and boosting our egos. That’s why the Fonzi was developed. It measures how many spectators a player brings to each game.

Rap Sheet Percentage– It’s an established fact that every beer league team needs one hardened criminal on the bench. Using a team’s Rap Sheet Percentage you can quickly determine how much of the team is made up of seedy characters. Also gaining popularity is the Face Tat Percentage.

Dogging on Teammates (DOT)– Chirping at the other team is a useful exercise and has its advantages. But it’s more important to keep your teammates in check and remind them how bad they are at hockey or at managing their life. DOT catalogs how much you tastefully chirp your own teammates on the bench, in the locker room or over email.

WTF– Like PDO this stat doesn’t really stand for anything. It tracks how much hockey jargon a player can spout while on the bench of any given game. Advanced statisticians are looking for things like “Way to go bar down, bud” and “Get off the ice, ya duster” or “Let’s run a strong overload, make sure not to get sucked down too far though, try to follow an umbrella pattern” and “Cycle! Cycle! Cycle!”

Suds Delivered– Arguably the most vital stat. It tracks how much beer a player brings to a game.

suds-delivered-hockeySome more Beer League Stats from other hockey beauties

Suds +/- – It’s always annoying to have that guy who drinks so much more than anyone else but never seems to pay for any of the beer. Suds +/- tracks beers consumed vs beers brought. This is the guy who drinks 4 beers, and takes two home every week, and then brings a 12 pack on his night to bring.

CPM (Chirps per minute) – It’s always good to have at least one guy on the team that has a high CPM. He might not be the best skater, and maybe he can’t dangle and snipe, but getting under the skin of the other team while he serves as the grocery stick makes him an asset.

beer-league-puck-hogPuck Hogging Percentage (PHP) – A truly valuable men’s league player will go above and beyond to try to carry the puck through at least 2-3 opposing players at a time, especially if there is an open teammate up the ice waiting for a pass. PHP tracks the amount of times a player carries the puck when better passing options were available

Excuses Per Game (EPG) – How many excuses do your team mates generate per game? You know they’ll play bad if the excuses start before they even get on the ice. We’ve all heard the “I ate too much turkey, might be a little slow out there” and lets not forgot the Applogies Per Game (APG) “My bad” “Oh sorry about that” and “Sorry didn’t see you wide open, back door, while I tried to dangle 3 guys”

suds-consumed-while-dressingBeverages Consumed while Dressing (BCD) – While Suds Delivered is important to track, we also should keep stats on total BCD. This tracks suds consumed immediately prior to hitting the ice, which can be extremely important during tournaments.

Line Trip Percentage (LTP) – More common in the beginner level leagues LTP tracks the percentage of times a guy trips over the blue or red line while entering a zone. In the higher men’s league the LTP usually increases with BCD

4th period minutes played – Tracking the players who stay in the locker room longest post game. For the team waiting to use this dressing room it can negatively effect some players BCD, but also increase the EPG because the players had to rush to get dressed.

Extended Shifts Taken (EST) – Let’s be honest, we all want to play a little hockey, but there are some guys who think they should be on longer than others. You’re average mens league shift should be about 45 seconds, maybe 1 minute. EST tracks the extended shifts that some guys take. Every second past 45 seconds is tallied.

Glory Day References (GDR) – The number of times per game a player reminisces about “that one game” or how good he used to be.

Have your own advanced beer league stat you want to add? Let me know in the comments below. Also, join us on http://www.reddit.com/r/hockeyplayers

25 Comments

  • Josiah October 15, 2014 at 10:24 am

    SOOG: Shots On Own Goal

    Measures the number of shots, intentional or unintentional, taken on your own net. A high number may indicate a player going the extra mile to keep the goalie in the game, indicating a stout defensive team. However, it could also be a result of a high defensive BCD. Either way, it will help goalies increase their EPG.

  • Brendan Mounce October 15, 2014 at 10:03 pm

    UCP: Un-connected passes

    Many times, a breakout can occur, and there are some moderately open passing lanes. This statistic, however, keeps track of how many passes are missed by the offensive player, or totally miss the offensive player in general. Usually this can be affected by a positive BCD and EPG. LTP can be increased by UCP as well.

  • Ted Shaffer October 16, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    BNG

    On my team, we count BNGs (breakaway, no goal).

  • scott October 16, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    GBP–Games before paying.

    Measures how many games you are able to play before having to give the league money. Players with high GBP tend to have more skill than cash.

    GDWu–Goals during warm-ups

    useful for the player that needs to start warm-ups by doing his/her best penalty shot, triple deke move on a cold goalie still trying to adjust his jock.

    DCFSHATG–Diseases caught from shaking hands after the game

    Never mind.

  • Wolves13 October 16, 2014 at 6:26 pm

    I am our undisputed leader in CWT: Collisions with Teammates.

    • Chris October 17, 2014 at 10:31 am

      I am assuming your APG and EPG are very high as well

  • Jon October 17, 2014 at 12:12 am

    We’re going to have to start incorporating these stats into BenchApp.com. They’re golden!

  • Lords October 17, 2014 at 8:09 am

    The Goaltender Handicap Average (GHA) – Being a goalie for almost 30 years now I’ve noticed a sharp increase in this number over my last decade of play. This stat measures the amount of goals you KNOW your goalie will definitely give up, regardless of the opponent. For instance, my GHA is around 7. Basically, going into each game we know we’re already losing 7-0. Chip away boys!

  • Brent Maxwell October 17, 2014 at 8:39 am

    SDG – One of the most important stats. Suds During Game – How many beers can you stuff into your “water bottle”

  • Ray J October 17, 2014 at 10:05 am

    AWUT The player(s) who make first, second, or third line ALL WARM UP TEAM.

  • D Snyder October 17, 2014 at 10:25 am

    CFB (Coaching From the Bench) Players that anoint themselves as the saint of unsolicited advice and 20/20 retrospect. These players typical rack up high EPG’s for their own piss-poor plays and passes.

  • Chris October 17, 2014 at 10:30 am

    DZLC: Defensive Zone Line Changes. Mainly for lower level of play. Counts how many times a player decides to make a line change when the puck is in the defensive zone.

    DZLC +/-: Adjusts the player’s +/- who just got on the ice after a DZLC when a goal is scored

    Whiff%: Takes account of all whiffed passes/shots that should have resulted in a SOG/connected pass

  • Dennis Prouse October 17, 2014 at 1:23 pm

    Mine would be LCIOBC – Line Change Instead of Back Check. This counts the number of times a dude decides that the best time for a line change is when the other team is breaking up the ice on an odd man rush…

  • Troy October 18, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    We have: BU – bruised uterus. Unknown ailment when they don’t show up for games.
    Sometimes called a torn UCL.

  • Jogr October 19, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    How about DNWP: did not want puck. This could include the people who just aimlessly smack the puck, usually to the other team, every time without looking. Also includes skaters who are paying attention to the game intermittently and never expected you to make that nice pass that they never saw anyway. May also include ESTers who are too tired to skate to a loose puck or pass but won’t come off.

  • Gamma30 October 22, 2014 at 9:54 am

    ABC – Attempted Back Checks

    ‘Attempted’ because real back checking is simply not going to happen…

  • jstein October 22, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    II – Intentional Icing – number of times someone “panic” clears the puck down the ice (intentionally or unintentionally) rather starting a break out

    BPP – Blind Pass Percentage, the number of Blind Passes divided by number of solid tape to tape passes

    BP2OT – Number of Blind Pass to Other Team

  • kitt proimos October 26, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    GKUWU +/- Goalie Knocked Unconscious during Warm UP. Usually from 2nd or 3rd puck shot at same time. +/- ratio of pissed off delayed start of game players and amount of wasted labatts poured on goalies face from ‘his’ water bottle to wake him up.

  • kitt proimos October 26, 2014 at 6:44 pm

    GPI +/- Over 50 stat only. Pulling groin injury will attempting to straddle jump the boards in line change. Plus/minus extra points for crushing a nad and falling flat on their face. League discretion to remove goal scored points for the period if player can not deboard ice on his own. Women leagues do not have nad +/- stats.

  • Bill November 12, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    ONM – Open Net Misses. This tracks the number of times per game a beer league player has a shot at an open net and fails to connect.

    I also track the FRM, or Full Retard Moment, where the player does something really stupid that he has been coached against doing on multiple occasions.

  • jstein November 12, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    FNR – Falls for no Reason, that is not due to contact with another player…. probably related to BCD (Beer Consumed while Dressing) 1 point for “losing an edge” without puck or away from play, 2 points if “lost edge” with puck or near play, again assumes no contact with other players.

  • Jerry November 13, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    JOIWSPO
    (Jumping On The Ice With Skate Protectors On).

    Style points can be added for reaction once above mentioned action has occurred, or for trying to completely ignore the fact.

  • Rich November 15, 2014 at 11:22 pm

    There also should be some sort of PWTND productivity at work the next day stat. In other words how production you are the next day at work after a late night hockey game. Usually for me it’s about 10% or so of a normal day…

  • Duff November 21, 2014 at 9:00 am

    GHMG: Gone Hunting Missed Games. This happens with my team every time there’s an opening day of hunting season, regardless of type of prey it’s for. But for deer season… we play short handed because all our subs are hunting too.

    CFF: Caught Flat Footed. You know those guys who stand still while the opposing defenseman rushes up ice and easily skates around them because they’re standing still.

    NIC: No Inner Camera. This is for guys who believe in their minds they’re contributing when in reality they are more or less just spectators with skates on. These guys usually have the highest CFF stats.

    BDTW: Better Door Than a Window. This stat gets awarded every time a player screens their goalie and it results in a goal against. Although there’s no need to keep this stat because your goalie keeps a very accurate accounting in his/her head 24/7. This could also be called TEOP: the ‘Total Eclipse of the Puck’ stat.

    PTC: Passes Through Center (in the defensive zone). No matter how many times you emphasize not to do it, there’s some guys that still want to pass the puck through the center of their own defensive zone only for it to be turned over and a shot made on your goal from the high slot. Goalies love this stat too.

  • Mike Touscany January 15, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    ZAP Award – Stands for Zones Away from Play. Given to the perpetual cherry picker who floats behind the defense regardless of the score. Doesn’t matter to him whether his team is up 7-0 or protecting a 2-1 lead.

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